Here's another message board topic and resulting thread from our members.
It gets a little "silly" in some parts, but it is loaded with GREAT information
Bullwinkle
posted July 14, 2003 01:13 PM
Sorry if this seems like Miss Manners question, but what is the etiquette on this?
My son is having the head coach plus two assistance coach over to the house. (Home Visit)
It's right at dinner time. Should we serve dinner, or just offer drinks and snacks?
From: Frostbite Falls. MN
Orlando
posted July 14, 2003 01:23 PM
My opinion would be that it all depends on what kind of message you want to send. Offering dinner makes it all a lot more intimate and settled-looking, so if this is a school of first-priority interest to your son then do invite them to join you for dinner. The suggestion of dinner might be done in the confirmation phone call just prior to the visit so that there is no misunderstanding.
From: Orlando, FL
Catfish
posted July 14, 2003 01:35 PM
My personal opinion is that I don't think an invitation to eat dinner
with the player and his family is appropriate. For one thing you place
the coach/recruiter in the uncomfortable position of possibly having
to say "no". Also, when you invite a stranger to dinner you would need
to know whether he's a meat eater or a vegetarian; what cuisine does
he like; if he is Muslim, he won't eat pork; etc., etc., etc. (I'm
serious.) Today, people have so many different diets and cuisines
until you would have to ask a few questions in order to find out
what he eats.
For the few in home visits we had, we offered cold bottled water, tea and/or soda's. This appeared to be sufficient.
From: Georgia
Bullwinkle
posted July 14, 2003 01:51 PM
Thank you for your responses...Could I ask more questions. (Newbie ones for sure)
- What can we expect from this home visit? Is this a way to speak to my 04 on a personal level face to face? Are they checking the family out too? What kind of questions will they be asking? (It seems that each telephone call is the same...same order of questions, same sales pitch on college, etc)
- Should my son discuss that other colleges are doing home visits as well?
- Lastly, do colleges do the hard sale? Offer a scholarship for this night only?
From: Frostbite Falls. MN
TxMom
posted July 14, 2003 02:23 PM
I always offered dinner to any coaches, scouts, agents, or financial
advisors that came to our home. Some took us up on the offer and
others politely declined. Many of these guys travel long distances
for visits and might appreciate a home cooked meal and relaxed
conversation around a dinner table. When they did accept I always
asked if they had any special dietary requests...none did. I usually
cooked something simple and universal ...chicken breasts on the grill
with veggies seemed to be a favorite. On nights when I didn't have
time to cook, I picked up a pan of lasagna from a local Italian
restaurant. We never served alcohol when coaches or scouts came,
but my husband did offer beer and/or wine to agents.
After dinner, the coaches usually gave a short presentation of some sort in our family room and answered our questions. They want to get to know your son, so allow him to ask and answer questions as much as possible. I think it's always best to be honest when answering general questions, but you might want to wait with any specific answers or decisions until you've had time to discuss them privately as a family.
We never ran into any "high pressure" situations, but know that would have been a negative in any decision. All in all, home visits were a great time to learn more about each other and the process. Remember ...you are both looking for a great fit.
From: Dallas area
Texas2004
posted July 14, 2003 02:35 PM
SO...at what point does someone get an in home visit? like before official visit..or fall...we've just literally experienced the July 1 timeline...
what to expect next? (well, that is if we're lucky enough to see more)...
From: New Boston, Texas
Catfish
posted July 14, 2003 02:37 PM
I'm sure it is different for everyone. But basically they had a copy
of the questionnaire that we had previously completed and asked some
of the same questions at first. Then by the end of the discussion,
they wanted to know how serious my son was about playing for them.
One recruiter wanted to know if we were considering other offers.
What were we looking for in terms of scholarship money. We answered
honestly. But we also said that we were leaving all of our options
open. We were also given plenty of opportunities to ask questions
which sparked quite a bit of discussion in each case. No one offered
a scholarship during the visit. One of the home visitors called back
to offer a scholarship. Son eventually signed and played for a coach
who had never seen him play nor visited our home before signing. Go
figure!
From: Georgia
Fungo
posted July 14, 2003 02:51 PM
Bullwinkle,
I would offer the coach some Old Charter to kinda feel out his moral
standards. If he accepts the Old Charter, his moral standards are below
par but you can start to believe what he says in about an hour.
On a serious note, The coach is wanting to "buy" your son, but he
actually does this by trying to sell "his" college and his program.
This visit is a chance for the coach to sell his wares. Many parents
get it turned around backwards and think this visit is a chance for the
parents to sell their son. The coach is not there to listen to your
sales pitch. Put it all in perspective. I wouldn't push the fact that
other colleges are recruiting your son. This is pretty much a given.
Of course if you are asked what the other colleges are offering, I
would skirt the issue. Coaches may or may not make offers during an
in-home visit but rest assured they aren't expecting an answer the
same day. An offer was made on my son's first visit and no deadline
for acceptance was given. I made it a point to ask each coach if there
were any deadlines for acceptance. Some did give deadlines. If they
are wanting an answer before they leave, tell them you'd like to talk
it over as a family. Recruiting is a process and not a one day event.
My son's first in-home we did offer some snacks to the coaches and
they did accept. They also asked for seconds. It was a very exciting
time for the whole family. After a few other visits and more offers
started coming in, I cancelled the snack option. Remember, you're in
the driver's seat.
Best of luck,
Fungo
From: Spring Creek (Jackson),Tennessee
BrianRupe
posted July 14, 2003 02:57 PM
Have your son wear something besides shorts, t-shirt and flip-flops.
Dress for the occasion, not slacks, button down shirt and tie but
give the coach some respect and dress accordingly.
From: OKC, OK, USA
TRhit
posted July 14, 2003 03:15 PM
Be yourself !!!!
From: Manchester, CT USA
rz1
posted July 14, 2003 03:32 PM
I'd have to disagree with Brian, go the sympathy route. Jack the car
up in the driveway and take off the tires, no shoes on the wife and kids, and plastic cups in the china cabinet. Every percent you can get helps.
From: Madison Wi
Bullwinkle
posted July 14, 2003 03:36 PM
Are these a legit questions by 04 son?
How do you see me fitting in your team?
(04 is a two way player)
What do you like about my game, and what do I need to improve on?
(to see if they have seen him play)
What does the scholarship include?
(tuition ,dorm, food, book?)
Do you have tutors to help your players?
Any other questions?
From: Frostbite Falls. MN
TxMom
posted July 14, 2003 04:07 PM
Those questions sound great!
Some other questions you might want to ask ...
- What GPA is required to keep academic money ...if his scholarship
is blended?
- What student athlete academic support does your school provide? Do
you have any college skills classes or programs? Mandatory study halls?
- How do you feel about players signing pro contracts after their
junior year?
- What kind of community service programs or fund raisers do your
players participate in?
- Do you help players with summer team placement? Where do you see
our son playing next summer?
- What do you expect the depth chart to look like next year at your
son's position(s)? We never asked this in the home visit, but ...
If they do present an offer, make sure you have a clear understanding
of the total dollar amount you will have to pay. Percentages can be
very vague.
P.S. Even if your son is highly recruited, I still believe you should
try to make a good impression during a home visit. Remember...your
son might work for these men next year.
From: Dallas area
bbscout
posted July 14, 2003 06:26 PM
Great posts! We fed the coaches, but we kept the in house visits to
schools that he wanted to visit too. It came down to 3 coaches and we
fed all three. Before they arrived, we had researched the total costs
of every school and asked and received what they would give in total
dollars.
The coaches at the school that he ended up going to did not visit,
as he knew both of them very well and his main concern was to go on
his visit. They had an offer on the table before he went on his visit
too. The three coaches that did visit layed out their offer while in
our home.
From: usa
Glove Man
posted July 14, 2003 06:44 PM
Don't offer them a no-name brew that was only $2.61 a 6 pack. Bitter beer face doesn't go over too well with these guys.
And don't ever, under any circumstance ask them when they were gonna hand you the keys to the new Mercedes. Let them do that on their own, they know when the timing is right!
From: Houston, TX
TRhit
posted July 14, 2003 07:44 PM
Glove,
There are no Mercedes in college baseball !!!
From: Manchester, CT USA
baseballmom
posted July 14, 2003 11:14 PM
TR,
My kid's looking for the Ferrari!!
From: Texas
Glove Man
posted July 15, 2003 08:46 AM
Oh yeah I'm sorry I thought I was on hsfootballweb.com or hsbasketballweb.com, sorry about that I think they have a similar topic!
Except their topic is titled, "When to call the boosters"
From: Houston, TX
hsbbweb
posted July 15, 2003 09:25 AM
Here's a link to some articles that we have put together on the
subject:
Recruiting Visits
